047

I haven't written in a long time, but I really need to because I can't get things off my mind.

When I'm upset, I bottle things up inside, and very few people know that anything is bothering me--not even the people who know me best.  I internalize my feelings, which has always been my biggest reasons for writing.  Writing is the only way I know how to express the uncomfortable things I need to talk about.  I started writing after my aunt died when I was twelve.  That was the first time I recall being depressed, and there was no one I knew that I could talk to about my feelings, so I turned to loose leaf paper and a pencil.  Since then, things have changed; now I tend to reach out to this blog or a Word Document, other times my purple pen and my leather-bound journal that a friend gave me. 

So that's why I'm writing tonight, because whether I want to admit it or not, I'm feeling anxious and insecure, and even if I don't say it aloud, I'm beginning to express how I'm feeling.