It's hard to go back to school after graduation. Even after two post-graduation visits to the city of my alma mater, this trip still had its ups and downs. A lot of things change once you've been away from people for a lengthy amount of time. This can be a good thing or a bad thing.
On a Walmart excursion, I ran into the chapter president of my sorority, who at least seemed very happy to see me and welcomed me with a hug. I admit that I was not one of the easiest sorority women to deal with during my final year as a collegiate. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say that I was hard-skinned and difficult to get along with. I am surprised I still have friends within my sorority because of the way I treated people, and for that I will always be sorry. If I regretted a single thing in my life, that might be it. I know I don't deserve the friends I have, but I'm so thankful for them. I'm also thankful that some people have found a place in their hearts to forgive me for the things I put them through.
On the bad end of change, I have to admit that there's something bittersweet about being on the outside looking in at recruitment. While I know that I'm still a member of my sorority, as an alumna, it's not the same. There is a sort of disconnectedness to watching collegiates welcome new sisters--especially admitting to myself that I will never know these new women like the women I call sisters will. Only fellow alumnae can understand how that feels. I was taught to trust my sisters' judgment when it comes to voting on new members, and I do trust them, with all my heart; but there will always be that part of me that wonders what it was that made my sisters vote yes on these women--what did they see?
From here, I had more to say--much more to say. However, no words can really sum up how I feel without elaborate backstory and placing unnecessary blame on both myself and others. So, for now, that is all. I'm hoping this may help prepare my sisters--and perhaps women of other sororities--to prepare for life outside the collegiate world, because it is definitely a difficult transition.
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