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Ten Things to Do During Hurricane Irene

1.  Write a snail mail letter to a friend.

     Remember those people you used to hang out with before you became consumed with Facebook and Google Plus?  Yeah, try to extend a hand to rekindle the friendship that you undoubtedly screwed up.

2.  Teach yourself to play the piano.

     This, of course, is assuming that you have a piano in your home; but, really, any musical instrument will suffice.  Even if you don't have a musical bone in your body, your family will be thrilled to see you doing something--anything--besides parking your butt in front of the television.

3. Write a novel.

      This is how I intend to spend my evening--by candlelight.

4.  Do a jigsaw puzzle.

       You probably did these growing up, and unless you're like me and have continued to do them over the years, the 100-piece you have in your basement will probably be as difficult now as it was when you were six.

5.  Teach yourself the International Phonetic Alphabet.

        [ɪf ju kæn rid ðɪs titʃ jɔr fæməli]

6.  Read a book.

        If you don't have a book on hand: brave the weather, drive to the nearest bridge over fifty feet, and jump.

7.  Make your best friend a friendship bracelet.

       Chances are your friend will never wear it, but it's the thought that counts, right?

8.  Have sex.

        Let's face it: you were going to have the lights off anyway.

9.  Sleep.

       If you're a college student or recent graduate, you probably don't remember what it's like to go to bed before midnight; but it's never too late to try it out.

10.  Talk to your family.

       Yeah, right.