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Name a totally useless possession and how you came to acquire it.

I have a million useless possessions--lots of knick-knacks from friends and relatives, clothes that are too small yet I feel the need to keep.  I want to tell you about something that has a good story behind it, but some of the things have stories that I don't really feel like rehashing--teddy bears from exes, carousel horses inherited from my aunt, sorority mementos.

Alright, after looking through my closet, I have narrowed it down to two completely useless items, but only one has a good story to accompany it.  The useless item is a Talon mini self-defense stun device.  In other words, it's a miniature taser.  Eighty-thousand volts of non-lethal electricity.  Surely you now believe either a) I am one kinky individual, or b) I am a paranoid individual.  Consider this: I called it a useless possession.  This has remained in my closet for the past two years.  During my sophomore year of college, I spent nearly every weekend at the biggest party house on campus.  One of the boys who lived at this house also had a taser, which he brought out during a party and used on anyone willing to risk it.  As a reckless college girl with liquid courage coursing through my veins, I jumped at the opportunity.  I didn't hate it.  A sharp jolt to my arm was the rush I enjoyed, especially with all eyes on me.

A few months later, on Valentine's Day, the gentleman with the taser arrived at my dormitory with two basins full of goodies for my roommate and me; at the bottom of mine was this miniature electrifying experience which I have never used, hence "useless."